Some breakups feel like a clean cut — painful but final. Others linger, leaving behind questions, regrets, and the feeling that maybe, just maybe, things could have been different.
Lojay’s fantastic new single, “Somebody Like You,” perfectly captures that feeling of losing ‘the one.’ Inspired by the Grammy nominee’s story, we asked five Nigerians about the ex they still think about, the one they’ll never move on from.
“I would have walked to Chicago to be with her.” — James*, Male, 32
We were young and madly in love. From the moment I saw her in JSS 2 back in 2002, I knew she was the one. On Valentine’s Day in 2003, I asked her out after spending nights creating the perfect card. I wonder if she ever thinks about that.
On why it ended:
We didn’t just end; we faded, which was more painful. Her aunt in the US wanted to sponsor the rest of her secondary school education. So, when we were in SS1, she moved to Chicago. After a couple of months, her letters stopped coming, and that was the end of us.
She found me on Facebook in 2023 and sent a message telling me she was getting married in the fall of that year. She invited me, but I didn’t go.
On what he would say to her:
I would have walked to Chicago to be with you if you asked. I’m sorry we found each other too young. I hope you’re happy with him, but if you ever want to come back, the door will always be open for you.
“Our parents were priming us for marriage” — Solape*, Female, 26
I don’t necessarily think he was the one who got away, but he left the most impact on me, positively and negatively. Our parents were priming us for marriage so, sometimes, he feels like the one that got away.
On why it ended:
It ended because men are a wicked lot. That guy used cheating to show my eye premium pepper. So, even though he had so many positive traits, I couldn’t get past the ways he broke my trust.
On what she would say to him:
F*ck you, and also, I miss you. Since we broke up, I haven’t been able to love anyone as purely, honestly and deeply as I did you. You tainted my vulnerability, and I can never forgive you for that, but I still miss you sometimes — the good bits, at least.
ALSO READ: 12 Nigerians Describe Their Ex with a Nigerian Food
“I had no idea how good I had it” — Bayo*, Male, 25
We really cared for each other and could have had it all, but I wasn’t ready for something serious. I had no idea how good I had it until I returned to the streets.
On why it ended:
It ended during a manic episode I was experiencing. She didn’t know what was going on with me — I didn’t either — or what to do about it.
I wasn’t really aware of my thoughts and actions then, but I felt frustrated and impatient with her for some reason. In a heated argument about my behavior, I broke things off with her.
On what he would say to her:
I still think about you a lot, and if I could go back to that instant and work things out instead of losing my cool, I would in a heartbeat. You deserve the whole world, and I wish you the very best.
“It was near perfect” — Ayo*, Male, 26
It was my first love without prior reference. There was nothing to compare it to (for me at least) and it was near perfect. I always feel like we could’ve been so good together.
On why it ended:
I’m not sure anymore. I’ve had many answers over the years, but I think, ultimately, we became different people — all of our common ground gave way.
On what he would say to her:
In my house, you’re valid af. Enjoy life, be everything freely. Trust yourself to get by. Never change.
“I’ll probably spend the rest of my life wanting him.” — Sandra*, Female, 29
Physically, he is my exact spec, and our lives fit together perfectly. If there were any justice in this world, he would be the one I end up with. But sadly, that can never happen.
On why it ended:
Our foundation was not solid. The way we started our love involved a lot of deception and hurting others. The lies and sneaking around was too much, and our relationship couldn’t make it
On what she would say to him:
I wrote a song about you, I will never get over you, and I will always love you. I hope that you eventually end up with somebody who makes you happy, but I won’t attend the wedding because I know I’m going to be bitter as hell. Honestly, I’ll probably spend the rest of my life wanting him.
