We’ve seen so many movies and books feature bachelorette parties, but what actually goes on during these parties? These five Nigerian women share with us what really went on at the parties.
“Sisterhood and friendship”
At the first bachelorette party I attended, the bride didn’t even know it was happening. We had it a week before the wedding and told her it was just a girls’ day out. After lunch, we whisked her away to the Airbnb we had booked. There, we played a mini drinking game where we asked each other questions and they had to chug alcohol when they got the answers wrong. When we were all sufficiently buzzed, we got dressed and went to the karaoke bar to drink some more and sing all our favourite songs off-key.
The next day, we ordered junk food and ate until we almost couldn’t walk. We did each other’s hair, painted our nails, and shared our skincare routines. Then, we all talked about our relationships, shared our problems, and gave each other advice. It was beautiful and we all didn’t want it to end. When we had to leave, we cried. There was a lot of hugging, weeping, and promises to never let marriage change us. Three years and two more weddings later, I think we’ve gotten the hang of it.
-Yinka
“Debauchery and iniquity”
My friends have always been wild people, so when one of us announced she was getting married, I suspected the bachelorette party might end in someone getting arrested. The plan featured a lot of alcohol, drugs, and clubbing. The bachelorette party was on Friday night and the wedding was the next afternoon. We wanted to hit as many clubs as possible that night because we didn’t know the next time we’d be able to hang out like that again. Marriage changes people and we knew it was going to change us.
The first club we went to was a strip club owned by a friend, so we reserved seats and everything. He said it was his small gift to the bride-to-be. He also gave us some money and told us to go crazy. That crazy? We went it. I can’t count how many drinks we consumed that night, but it must have been a lot because the bride-to-be and chief bridesmaid were kissing each other a lot. We didn’t think much about it because we all know they used to hook up sometimes.
We dragged ourselves to two other clubs that night and it was just us drinking, getting high, and flirting with each other. The bride and chief bridesmaid were both naked on the bed, and I was topless on the floor with our other friend naked beside me. The two other girls were in their rooms, struggling to wake up. We went to bed around 4 in the morning, but we were woken up by the hair stylist and makeup artist around 6. a.m. so we could start getting ready for the wedding.
We got to that wedding hungover, and I could swear that the tears in the bride’s eyes were from the bright lights that gave her a headache. But it made for an “awwn” spectacle, so we ran with it.
-Alice
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“I made friends”
The first bachelorette party I attended was my cousin’s. There were some girls in the bridal train I was meeting for the first time and I liked how we were able to click instantly.
We first tried practising our dance routine for the traditional and white weddings, but once we realised we were doing rubbish, we stopped. That’s when we started playing games like Never Have I Ever.
At the hotel we stayed at, there was a pool so we went there to continue the party. There was a lot of food, dancing, and talking. When we left the pool, we couldn’t sleep, so we continued to gist upstairs. We eventually went to bed around 3. a.m. but had to wake up at 5. a.m. to start getting ready for the wedding. The girls and I are still friends and they may even be my asoebi girls at my wedding.
-Amina
“It can be anything you want it to be”
My friend’s bachelorette party was a bit different because it was held with the groom and groomsmen as well. The bride and groom felt like since the bridesmaids and groomsmen hadn’t had a chance to get to know each other properly, the best place for it to happen would be at a party, with overflowing alcohol.
I learnt two very important things that day. The first was that grown men and women still play Truth or Dare, and the second is that my friends don’t have shame.
The party happened at one of the groomsmen’s houses because the bride and groom wanted it to have a homely feel, but the homeliness left when we started playing Truth or Dare. When the game started getting a bit too intense, we broke off into different groups to just do whatever we wanted. Some played charades, others played Jenga and I had a threesome with the bride and groom.
I think that the whole point of a bachelorette party is to be able to do whatever you want with friends.
-Bimbo
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“Marriage counselling 2.0”
The bride is very religious, so the bachelorette party mainly constituted of other married women giving her advice on how to handle certain things in her marriage. Even when we played games, the questions we asked her were centered around her relationship with the man she was marrying.
There were food and drinks, but no alcohol, and it was very disappointing, to say the least. When I was invited, I was hoping for a slumber party type of vibe where we did our hair and made our nails. Instead, what I got was marriage counselling 2.0.
-Adaeze
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