From “just the tip” to an unwarranted declaration of love, it’s safe to say people would say anything to have sex. So we asked Nigerians to share some of the wildest things people have told them, and here’s what they said.
“We’re soulmates” — Emem
He said, “We’re soulmates, and in our previous lives, we were soulmates.” He called me a deity, that I have a goddess living in my body. It wasn’t even about the sex for him, he just wanted us to “coexist”.
Did we end up having sex? Yes. Yes, we did.
“I want to do you” — Faith
There were a lot of sugar daddies — men with plenty money — where I was working. This man came and was like, “Mo fe fe”. I should name what I want, and he’ll give me. Then he’ll book a room at Eko Hotel, and we can even go there from the office.
“I apologise for all I’ve done” — Kenny
It was the week before the elections. She was like, “I apologise for all I’ve done. I don’t remember, but I know I was at fault. Are you at home? Can we have sex?”
“I can’t fully get off unless we fuck” — Moyin
I’m celibate, but I was dating this person who wanted sex. What did he not tell me? He loves me, sex won’t make him think of me any less, he was doing all the work to satisfy me while he couldn’t fully get off unless we fucked. He also said he’s not celibate, so what are we going to do? Another banger, “Just the tip”. Look, men are ridiculous.
NEW SITE LOADING IN…
March 9, 2023 9:00:00
“Does the carpet match the drapes?” — CJ
It was back when I had an afro. She asked if the carpet matched the drapes. I spat out my drink.
“I can give you better days and head” — Mo
This guy sent me a note: “People say better days ahead, but I can give you better days and head”. Look, anytime I remember that shit, I’m like,”Oh my god, MEN”.
“My vagina started pulsating when I saw you” — Anon
“I can’t concentrate around you” — Elizabeth
The ones who tell you, “I can’t concentrate when you’re around”. They should treat their ADHD.
“She said she locs hair” — Michael
I told her to come and do my hair. Aunty came dressed in a big t-shirt and slippers, with no hair tools. Turns out, she doesn’t even lock hair.
